Curse You!
by Naraku's Phoenix
Summary: Poor Ed here has to get a bit violent with the Potter Boy. oneshot.


**Naraku's Phoenix:** ...Ah...when my mind wanders in Orchestra.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist nor do I own Harry Potter. But I think that if their two worlds were ever to cross one another, I'd imagine that something like this might happen. Takes place at the beginning of Sixth Year.

It was a cool crisp Autumn day on the Hogwarts Grounds. The air was cool and for once the Giant Squid didn't swim up and splash around, giving the lake a splendid calm and glassy look that even the wind didn't want to ruin it. Hagrid had let Fang out who was now currently chasing faries at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. I'd say it was about noon-time right now.

Inside the castle the students had gathered for lunch and were currently chatting with each other amongst the empty cups and dishes; awaiting for their deliciously prepared food to appear on the tables. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, in particular, were going over all the adventures they'd endure in the past.

"I liked the Chamber of Secrets bit," explained Ron, "Hermione discovered the monster, Harry destroyed it and saved Ginny, and I got to kick Lockhart in the shins!"

"Yeah, well I liked the Prisoner of Azkaban. We saved two innocent lives, learned the truth about Scabbers and Crookshanks along with the Marauders and their map, plus I ditched my first class!" Hermione went over excitedly. "I also loved sending Umbridge into an angry horde of centaurs as well as breaking into the Department of Mysteries."

"Oh, yeah! Forget about Slytherin's Chamber, that was definately my coolest adventure," Ron chimed in. "What do you think Harry?"

"Well," Harry began, "The Department of Mysteries_ was_ rather dangerous and exciting, except for Sirius of course, but I think my favorite adventure was my first adventure, with the Philosopher's Stone and everything-" Harry didn't get to finish what he was saying as there was suddenly a loud burst of commotion emerging when someone from the outside miracuously kicked the doors to the Great Hall wide and fully open.

In the doorway appeared to be one of the more advanced suits of armor that inhabited the castle hallways, but no one recognized it. He had no sword and instead bore the marks of some strange symbol on each of his arms at the top near his shoulders. His partner - whom this "suit of armor" was now restraining - seemed very out of breath while his eyes burned with firey anger. His blonde braid had become strewn and fray across his neck and face while his long, red overcoat caught the attention of many (more like everybody) in the Hall.

The suit of armor was now pleading in a child-like voice to his companion, "Brother , no, please, we can't do this! I know that it's hard on us, but we just can't!" The entire great Hall watched with complete silence now. Even a few of the ghosts had popped in to take a gander. Suddenly, the blonde companion settled down.

"You're right, Al...We can't do this." The suit of armor relaxed sighed with a sudden relief as he released his grasp, but his companion continued talking. "We can't do this," the blonde boy suddenly ran out into the middle of the Great Hall and jumped on top of the Hufflepuff table, "But I can!" Al moved to the middle of the Great Hall as well, though sullenly. There was no stopping his brother now.

Ed raised his voice to address the Great Hall, "So, _this_ is where you've all went to! Now, someone, tell me...WHERE IS HARRY POTTER!

No one turned to make a move...except the Slytherins of course. Many of them thinking that this wild blonde and suit of armor were perhaps servants/saviors sent by Voldemort. So as it was expected, almost every Slytherin in the Hall jumped up, pointed over toward the Gryffindor table, and yelled simultaneously, "He's over there!"

Leaping in such an anger over onto the Gryffindor table, Ed didn't even touch the ground. Al, however, took a seat with the Hufflepuffs whom began to inch away from him while his brother was grabbing the heads of Gryffindor boys, asking each of them if he was Harry Potter.

Malfoy, who was now getting annoyed with the spectacle, went over to Gryffindor's table himself, to yell at Ed who was now shaking down Ron Weasley, "He's behind you, you idiot!

Ed, still in the middle of shaking Ron's head, had his own head pulled down to the other side of him, curtousy of Malfoy, and into the face of Harry Potter. Having a maniac look in his eye, Ed realeased Ron's head, much to the red-head's relief, and did a backflip off of Gryffidor table. The results ended with Ed landing on the ground behind Harry who in return quickly faced this insane blonde with one silent thought of, "Mommy!" running through his mind.

Inching closer to Harry, Ed began his speech, "So, Potter...Do you have any, I mean ANY, idea what you've done about five years ago?"

"Well," Harry began, but Ed continued on.

"You didn't expect your book to be a top best seller, did you?" Ed briefly holds up a copy of Harry's first book before putting it away.

"Ah, no, I didn't imagine-," Harry tried to say, but alas, Ed has interrupted again.

"How could you!"

"Wha-?"

"The Philosopher's Stone!" As if Ed's hair couldn't have been in any more chaos; strewing across his entire head, he had a face of extreme anger that could only rival that of Uncle Vernon's. Al moaned in both annoyance and sadness while his brother ranted on. The whole Hall was still watching the scene with extreme interest.

"And to think! All the time we've spent just _researching_ the damn thing let alone _looking_ for it! But you've just had the Philosopher's Stone the whole time didn't you?"

"Ah-," Harry tried to get out, but Ed just yelled at him even more.

"DIDN'T YOU!"

"Well, not recently-"

"No, of course you haven't! Because you've destroyed it! Everything that's happened to my brother and I and every other alchemist out there! It can't be fixed because of your little 'save-the-world' scheme."

"Hey, Nicholas Flamel-!" Hermione tried to say. Ed turned to her with hatred in his eyes.

"Nicholas Flamel? Oh yeah, I know him. Wasting that precious stone on his own life when he very well could've been saving others that were dying out in the street! Or helping people like my brother get their bodies back!" Ed violently pointed at Al who was still sitting at the Hufflepuff table. Al jumped up, surprised, then sweatdropped.

"That _thing's _your brother?" A random Gryffindor said with disgust.

"Yeah, gotta problem with that, shorty!"

"Ooh, shorty. Look who's talking."

"Why you little-! I oughtta-!"

"You oughta what?" The random Gryffindor pressured on.

"Come on brother, I think it's time we left." Al had finally left his spot at the Hufflepuff table so he could collect his temporarily insane/raging brother. Picking Ed up and throwing him over his shoulder, Al began to leave. Ed, forgetting about his row with the random Gryffindor, went back to shouting thoughtlessly at Harry.

"Me and thousands of others have worked our butts off looking and dieing for that stone AND YOU DESTROYED IT! I mean you idiot!..." Ed's voice then trailed off as Al moved out the Great Hall door and down to the Grand Entrance to leave the Hogwarts Grounds.

After the two strangers had left, the occupants of the Great Hall were slowly murmering their way back into a steady conversation with each other about Harry and the Elric brothers.

"Maybe," Harry said thoughtfully, "I should choose which adventures to go on more carefully."

"Yeah," agreed Ron and Hermione simultaneously. The golden trio stared wide-eyed into infinity for so long, they'd almost forgotten about the lunch that had appeared onto the tables only a minute ago.

\

Meanwhile, on a train to nowhere in particular...

"Hey, Ed?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"If we've discovered that the Philosopher's Stone has been destroyed...does that mean that our travels are over?...Because, technically, we've found it."

"Hmmm...I guess that's true. But no one else has to know that. I quite like our vacations." Ed then turned to Al who was staring down his brother. "What? It's not like we have to pay for it," Ed finalized. Al sweatdropped and smiled, "Ah-okay, Brother." And the two rode off into the sunset.


End file.
